He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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