I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
