it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
