lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
