You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
