your parents love me but you hate me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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