Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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