i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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