Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
