Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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