that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
