i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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