Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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