Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
