butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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