I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
