What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
