I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize