I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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