My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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