I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
