i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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