we have pet lesbian snakes
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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