And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
