where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
