you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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