I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
