This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
