one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
