I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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