I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
