it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
