I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
