I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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