Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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