I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
