Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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