And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
