im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize