I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize