did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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