Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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