Me. At least after what I've been through.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i think im in europe. pls send help
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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