Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
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What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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