two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
