just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
