Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
