No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
