Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
