i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Drunk is not a location!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
