Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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