Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
