It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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