Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
