Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
