I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
