just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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