well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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