I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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