i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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